Emotional Reservoir

Photo by Maria Tyutina from Pexels

Is it always ok to be the one pouring your heart and soul into something/someone and not seeing a drop of result?

We all have that one person who to us they are heaven, earth and hell but to them you feel like your not even as big as a grain salt in their salt.

This thought has been on my mind for a while due to one those nights; just there laying in bed and replaying your life so far. The images of life flashes by like the movies credits but this reel was highlighting the red flag that i had missed due to “love” or lust.

There will/is that one person in our life that we constantly pour our everything in and its like the levels keep rising. However when its time for them to release some of the emotions its like the tap doesn’t work. In a instant you are reminded that how you feel may not be mirrored back to you.

Now you have the thought of; Was i dumb? , Did they even care? , Is this me being over dramatic? Should i say something?, etc. The list of question seem to never end in the mental rolodex.

Ask your self this, If shit was really hitting the fan would they be there for you the way that you would drop the world to be with them??…

The Gatekeeper To The Unknown

Photo by Suzy Hazelwood from Pexels

There are many instances where my mind feels like its gearing up to go to war.
What is it gonna fight for to be honest only the heavens know.
I just have to sit here and let it do what needs to be done.

I sit and watch the troops salute each other on opposite ends of the battle field.
Is this what unhappiness feels like or is my brain chemicals just all out of order again.
Can a pill be the gatekeeper to an authentic smile or will that cause the troops to attack.

Its weird just seeing your body but not feeling like its your body
Well im heading back to playing my role in this puppet show called life…